Freebies for me!!

I like second hand stuff.  

But I love free stuff.  

One girl's trash is another's treasure. 

 

Last weekend, we took my husband's octogenarian parents to an Asian grocery store to buy fish. At checkout, my in-laws were given a free bottle of apricot seed kernel powder.  Based on the few English instructions available, you are supposed to make something like a tea out of it.  My mother in law had no interest, so she gave it to me.  Having little knowledge of it, I decided to read about it.  The first two Google articles talked about its toxicity, so there goes that idea. I opened the container to check out what was doing and I was pleasantly surprised.  Its a very fine powder, lighter than beach sand with a beautiful floral smell!!  Too good to add to the potting soil via the compost pile.  A few days later, we visited family out state and my stepdaughter in law gave me a bottle of sunflower oil that she accidentally bought at the grocery store and she won't use.  BAM! I see an opportunity for sexiness.  This afternoon, I got out one of my cute little jars and i mixed up a luxurious bath scrub to take into the shower with me.  It left my hands super soft, I'm pleased to admit.  I used a very tiny bit on my face to counteract the light Retin A peeling I'm currently experiencing.  Its absolutely the most beautiful smelling stuff ever and I'm looking forward to regular use! 

See?  Doesn't have to cost a fortune to look and feel good!  

Every Little Bit Counts

I enjoy music, podcasts, Howard Stern and YouTube videos throughout my day, but I really like audiobooks (to the tune of one every week or two) because though I do not have a college degree, I do think that with a high school education, interesting life experiences and a hell of a lot of reading about every stupid little thing, I have some significant knowledge on a wide host of subjects. I am okay at Jeopardy too, ask my mom. My current book is called The Zero Waste Home by Bea Johnson.  I'm really enjoying it and feeling inspired to try new things, but I also am realistic about how it fits into my life.  This lady is married with two children and she has managed to get her family's disposable waste for one year into a 1 quart container. I, on the other hand am having a hard time getting a week's worth of recycling into one car to take to the bottom of the driveway.  My husband and I will never get to her level. I have no intentions of spending six months of my life trying to formulate homemade shampoo that he and I can both use for our two very different hair types.  I am trying to make some positive changes though, and to my surprise, I have found that they have not only been embraced but have been a source of inspiration for others. When I went to the grocery store today, I decided to pack my reusable shopping bags with plastic containers and previously used index cards. When I showed up at the store, I had my open containers on the counter and without hesitation I requested that they put my cold cuts into my dishes because I don't like single use plastics.  They cut up my stuff, weighed it and packed it into my containers and I applied the lid. She printed out my label and applied it to the paper. The girls at the deli not only found this to be a cool idea, but they expressed interest in doing it themselves.  I told them that I was enjoying it so far and nobody has given me any crap about my out of the norm request.  "Well, I'm a manager here so if anyone gives you crap in this department, let me know because I think this is great".  This was a new concept with the checkout girl too, but one I explained my system, she was on board.  Putting the groceries away when I came home was slicker than snot on a doorknob because everything stacked nicely into the refrigerator.  This is not a huge money savings nor will I be receiving any thank you cards from the polar bears, I just like it. The tiny difference makes me feel good, and when it feels good, it is sustainable.  Next thing to go at my house is the paper towels and disposable napkins- I have tons of fabric napkins, towels and handkerchiefs that  ones I never use. Again, this is not stuff that is going to change the world, but it works in my world. That will have to do for now. 

Hey stranger.

Your true traveller finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty - his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure. – Aldous Huxley

Well, it certainly has been a while hasn't it?

I would like to think that I'm a little older and wiser, but I've moreso found that I'm more battle-hardened, introverted and set in my ways, like a proper almost 40 year old who feels 60.  My days are spent with stupid to the point of manic amounts of hobbies and interests (I put in an Amazon order today for additional homemade deodorant supplies), voice lessons with my friend Allison (a year and a half and I still avoid Karaoke Night), housekeeping (reading everything I can about the uses of castile soap), cooking Weight Watchers friendly meals (twenty five pounds down), shooting groundhogs in the ass with a BB gun to keep them out of the yard (woodchuck is not listed in the WW app, hence my nonlethal methods) and trying to get the bills paid off and get the beach house built so that my husband can retire sooner rather than later.  I live in a new house, I have new dogs, I have new step-grandchildren.  It's still summer, so I am drinking beer more than wine (in moderation- Weight Watchers afterall).  Instagram (@emgeraci) is cool, I get to post photos of my food and hobbies.  Nothing scandalous, so of course that makes it pretty boring in the social media world.  It's all about the stuff that makes me happy.  I spent too many years whining and focusing on things that make me miserable.  I have Twitter, but I find it uninteresting.  Everything is now so sterile; its too damn difficult to say something that someone isn't offended by. 

"Today I went shopping with my best friend and I got a new hat!"
"My sister doesn't even have a head, you insensitive bitch!"

It makes for extremely boring posts. 

There are worse things than being boring.  I prefer to think of it as unlimited potential for growth.  I'm never bored, and what others think of me is none of my damn business.   It's also none of my business if your sister has no head.  Bottom line: if you continue to check in, I may occasionally talk about something that you're interested in.  At least it can help pass the time...

Oh Oh The Places You'll Glow!

My Grandma Jo passed away almost exactly 2 years ago.  One of the things that I always remember about her was her pretty jewelry. She had a nice combination of costume things and modest gemstones with occasional smatterings of diamonds that she enjoyed wearing. As a kid, our Saturday mornings had pretty much the same routine-put pennies in my pink pig bank, make a cake, eat cereal with canned milk, and then clean her rings with a toothbrush. So when she passed away, I received some things, like a few of her costume brooches with plastic pearls and printed flowers that I enjoy wearing with my scarves and jackets.  My personal taste in jewelry is much different than everyone else in my family. I love my big sparkly, some would even say gaudy, statement pieces that swallow half of my hand and make my décolleté sparkle like Paris while my mother, sister and aunt have more modest jewelry collections.  Little gold diamond pinky rings are pretty much only to my taste and to my grandmother's, so when it was offered to me because no one else would wear it, I was thrilled. I remember this particular ring in a chic supporting role while she held a cup of Sanka and ate a piece of cake with a paring knife.  Of course it fits me perfectly, I have her hands.  As a kid, I bit my nails to the point of bleeding, and it made her so crazy that she threatened to put chicken poop on my fingers.  Rings didn't look very nice on me at the time. After retiring from the shoe factory after 52 years, she pretty much only left home to go do the shopping and spent the rest of her time at home with her Chihuahua eating Utz Party Mix. Her pretty baubles didn't go very many places, they were for her pleasure and she didn't care who saw them if anyone.  I, on the other hand really like to get out and about and travel, so my jewelry comes everywhere with me. We just returned home from a cruise last week, and I wore her diamond pinky ring almost every day. Each evening I got my picture taken in a pretty dress, and it is in almost every picture. I have traveled many places around the world with it; it has seen white Caribbean sand, busy streets of Times Square during Christmas season, holidays, fancy dinners and parties where it reflected the bubbles of my champagne, all things that she never experienced and, well probably never dreamed of either. I think about these things when I wear it.  I think about her.  I'm sure I don't clean it enough to suit her.  Just like my grandmother and eventually me, it will get dirty, tarnished, and the stones will get old and cloudy, it will be sometimes neglected, but never lost without a slender digit to call home. There is always another adventure, another cup of instant coffee to hold. And when I am done, I will pass the baton, or in this case, the toothbrush to someone else to continue the journey. 

Wrinkles in Time: What I've Learned So Far

Happy Birthday to me.  

Big number 36 is fast approaching.  I like to think I'm holding up pretty well overall, but there are obviously some issues associated with middle age.  Some observations I've made over the past few months have come from both supportive and not-so-supportive family and friends. Sometimes I learn the most about myself and priorities by the latter.

1.  I'm putting on weight.  Good thing layers are in style.  And according to Jimmy Buffett, wrinkles only go where smiles have been.  Who says I'm pessimistic? 

2.  The number of varicose veins you have correlates directly with the number of sarcastic comments you really really want to make in the course of a day.  

3.  Even at age 36, poop jokes are still funny.  

4.  My husband can now trade me in for two 18 year olds.  

5.  There is a strange dynamic that exists- I definitely care less about what others think of me, yet I find that I am becoming more opinionated, even harshly critical.  Too early to be a crabby, bossy old lady, I need to be at least my mom's age for that (her sense of humor remains intact fortunately). More than 50% of my gripes are little things, and less than 10% of them are any of my damn business.  

6.  In many aspects of life, such as saving money for retirement, raising children and getting an education, "shit just got real'.  It really is the moment of truth, time to see how badly I have screwed up over the last 15 years.  

7.  My teenage stepsons don't get O.J. jokes, they haven't the slightest idea who Christopher Reeves is, and singing "I'll tell ya what I want what I really really want!" when placing my order at a restaurant goes over like a lead balloon.  

8.  BINGO with my mother, aunt and sister is starting to become something that I am looking forward to.  When I was a kid, Mom and Aunt Sharon were thrown out to the fire hall parking lot for being mouthy.  Sounds like my idea of a good time.  

9.  I am told that I have reverted back to the teenage mentality that I know everything.  Either I will eventually grow out of it or others will come to just accept this as fact.  Either way, I consider it personal growth.  

10.  Some of my efforts to stay young and modern end up really demonstrating how middle aged and out of it I really can be.  I still say "Cool beans!" when the guys come home with good news, and I fight the propensity to call my grandson "Little Dude".  I know I can't control the world, and protecting our little ones from all the evil that will inevitably tempt him is not possible, but if things go smoothly in his upbringing, he will go through life without ever seeing a Pauly Shore film, thus maintaining the high IQ with which he has been blessed with by virtue of genetics.  That's a job well done.  

Autumn Awesome: The Cool Comfy Fall Style I Live In

I wrote this as a "job interview" as a freelance writer for an online fashion magazine.  I didn't get the job, guess they couldn't handle me.  

I love summer.  I love the sunshine, I love my garden, I love the birds and the little backyard animals I see as I sit on the porch and drink my morning espresso before the intense heat of the day sends me heading for shade.  Its always my busiest time of the year because the kids are out of school, the lawn is at its neediest for mowing, and tenants in my rental houses have a tendency to use their rent money to take vacations.  Its easier to take the good with the bad when you're wearing adorable little sandals and linen in a variety of pastels that make me feel as light and cool as the breeze at dusk.  I am always sad to see summer leave; in fact, its very much an anxiety.  Even at age 35, I still feel the same panic I did as a kid because school would be starting soon.  But an interesting thing happens: every July, I start seeing the fall fashion roll in.  Suddenly, I am missing my leather boots and comfy cardigans.  As the flowers shrivel, my wardrobe possibilities open.  I am most drawn to new patterns, cuts and silhouettes that give me a young and modern take on my wardrobe staples.  My style is definitely classic- I love timeless styling and fit with some trendy modern touches.  I'll be headed out later today and my outfit is already picked out- a vintage Armani silk and cashmere fitted jacket with a pink and purple Coach silk scarf tied loosely, Hollister slim fit jeans and my beloved Buttero riding boots.  That's pretty much me in a nutshell.  The jacket was one of my beloved thrift store finds that never goes out of style.  It needed an update for this season, so I rolled up the sleeves to just below the elbow showing 2 luxurious inches of light blue silky lining.  In the interest of timeless beauty and fit (and always considering my hourglass figure that I enjoy so much) here's what I've got my eye on for fall.

Old Navy 3/4 sleeve Jersey dress
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=91343&vid=1&pid=155478012

For me, the knee length hemline screams classic beauty.  The ruched sides and the stretch of this one are very forgiving and add a soft comfortable visual.  Think Marilyn Monroe running out for coffee.  Truth be told, I have already purchased this in all three colors.  Take advantage of the free shipping over $50.


Moma Buckled Flat Boot
http://www.headstartshoes.com/moma-black-buckled-flat-boot-4060-ma19/dp/12247

A good pair of leather boots in a timeless style is a great investment.  I haven't decided yet if I want to buried in my Butteros or if I want to leave them to my niece in my will.  I think that buckles and chains are too trendy, heel heights go in and out season to season and year to year.  Learn how to polish good leather shoes, or ask your drycleaner if they perform shoe polish and repair in house.  For such an investment, you'll likely have to get new soles after a few years.  Don't cheap out on the upkeep.  Good polish and good replacement soles when needed will keep them looking great for years.

Handmade scarves
http://kramascarf.com/shop/

The French girl in me almost always has a scarf on hand.  From wool to silk to synthetics, different weights, patterns, and ages.  I have everything from vintage silk Givenchy, another thrift store find, to the purple wool one my stepson brought home from Afghanistan for me. I like a little bit of a story behind my scarves, whether it was a cherished gift from a loved one in a far away land, "I got it for $2.99 at Goodwill!" or, as above, the items are handmade and profits benefit charity.  For me, it really is the key component to making my outfit a little different each time I wear it.

Too Fat for Fendi

Too Fat for Fendi

My French heritage tells me that I should not be having this discussion in public. But my redneck upbringing says hell with it. 

I am packing on the pounds. I think at this point I might be considered slightly overweight. It really breaks my heart because the Joseph Altuzarra for Target collection is coming out on September 14, and though most of the clothes will be available in my size, they won't look the way I want them to.  I am too big on top for many of Diane von Furstenberg's famous wrap dresses. Along with what I feel is rather uncontrollable weight gain, I'm having some other issues that I think I need to sort out medically first. Towards the end of the month I go to the doctor for the first time in three years. I'm going to ask for some blood tests to make sure that it's nothing physical. If I'm clear, I know the problems are all in my head, which is where the hard work is. 

One of my favorite quotes is from my youngest stepson who at age 13 said to me "We would get along much better if you would just let me do whatever I want". It's a good thing he's cute, otherwise he would be dead by now.  I don't think I have to explain to you why that was so funny (and I did laugh, which made the tense situation even worse regrettably) and also why it's so true about everything. If I'm unhappy with exercising and not eating the things that I want to eat, would I be happier at 300 pounds because I did exactly what I want to do?  I would certainly be enjoying the food, but that happiness and satisfaction is transient. I really don't care what society thinks of me. I'm too old for that bullcrap. But I do care about what my husband thinks of me. When my husband tells me that I'm beautiful, I really take it very seriously. I believe him, and I wanna be that way for him. I also believe him when he tells me that a certain bathing suit doesn't look as good as it used to. It's hurtful, but I also appreciate his opinion and don't resent him. Honesty always makes me happy. I think it's important for me to be a positive role model to my stepsons and to my grandchildren. I have a granddaughter now, and like my niece before her, I would like to instill in her a healthy body image and attitude about food, exercise and weight. I want to make sure that I'm able to roll around on the floor with my grand kids. The day I was doing somersaults with my grandson on the living room floor was a memorable one. Hanging upside down the swingset with him? Yes, that was a good day too. I looked my best 20 pounds ago, can I get there again? I'm almost 36 now; in our society, that's really not old.  I would have to work hard. Is it worth the hard work? That's the rub. 

Screw society stereotypes of what a woman should look like. I am not an airbrushed model. I can understand the pressures of Hollywood movie stars. They make their living by looking their best at all times. Even when walking the dog. Work can dry up very quickly in that industry, and the expectation is to have an unsustainable lifestyle that forces them to work. A vicious cycle that I'm glad to be unaffiliated with.  I would look like Elle Macpherson if I could afford a personal nutritionist and trainer. Pay me $1 million to take my picture, and I'll reconsider a more aggressive diet. But I'm a landlady. Do I need to be back down to 110 pounds?  With so much disease in my family, it would be good for me to ensure that my weight stays down. If I don't,  I'm screwed in more ways than in my wardrobe. It always comes down to what my barriers are. Frankly I think my barriers are just laziness. Too many temptations in this western society. I know these are my issues. Could I eat dry lettuce and chicken breast all day every day for the rest of my life? Yes. Would I be happy that way? No. I want to drink good wine by the gallon.  I want to eat homemade pasta. Alton Brown's chocolate ice cream recipe made with raw milk is to die for.  

I'm supposed to end this with some kind of conclusion or some point to take action on that would be of interest to you. I really don't have one.  I'm unsure as to what my next move should be. Do I accept my fate and enjoy life? Do I make a significant lifestyle change just to be able to wear clothes that I really can't afford anyway?  I'm going to die of something in the end. I already gave up the cigarettes. I can't give up the iced coffee too. That will kill me faster than the high blood pressure I am almost certain to inherit. What's my real yin and yang? I guess I'm not alone, otherwise everyone would be skinny.

A pretentious and juvenile way to put it I guess would be a personal journey down the fashion runway of life. I know I don't have the energy to wear the 5 inch heels, so I guess I'll just find something that I'm comfortable and confident wearing. 

Is it worth spending our lives getting dressed up if at the end of the show we don't get to keep the clothes?